UnProductive™: An Enterprise Dashboard for Accomplishing Absolutely Nothing

This is a submission for the DEV April Fools Challenge What I Built UnProductive™ — The Anti-Productivity Suite. A full bento-grid dashboard that looks like a legitimate SaaS product at first glance. Dark background, sidebar nav, real-time clock, progress charts, an AI advisor, a terminal. Everything a productivity app needs. Except every single feature is engineered to fail, flee, gaslight, or accomplish nothing whatsoever. Here's what's inside: The Evasive Button — A box labeled "Important Decision Matrix" with a button that says "Acknowledge." It physically runs away when your cursor gets within 110px of it. If you actually manage to click it, the response is: "Click registered. Action: none. You are welcome." Thought Shredder — Type your billion-dollar idea. While you type, it randomly scrambles your characters and injects glitch symbols. Hit Obliterate and the text corrupts into garbage on-screen before disappearing to /dev/null/forever . UnProductive AI™ — Consults "The Oracle."