Semver in Retrograde

This is a submission for the DEV April Fools Challenge What I built I built a dependency analysis tool that delivers executive-grade reports about your project's emotional state. It just happens to be astrology. So I built Semver in Retrograde. You paste a package.json , click "Analyze my dependency aura", and get a straight-faced executive report about the project's emotional state. It gives you Aura Stability, Chaos Index, Peer Dependency Tension, Mercury Status, the dependency Big 3, a prophecy, a lucky command, and a share card that looks ready for an internal quarterly review. That contrast is the joke. The interface looks like a serious dashboard. The output is dependency mysticism delivered in the tone of an operations meeting. I also added one feature that makes me disproportionately happy: if you paste something that looks like requirements.txt or a Gemfile , the app returns 418 I'm a teapot . Wrong ecosystem, wrong beverage. Demo Live demo: https://semver-in-retrograde.vercel