I wrote a TypeScript pipeline because I couldn't stop opening browser tabs

You've done this. Everyone has. You want a monitor. You check two reviews. One says 4/5. The other says 7.8/10. Both rate it high but for different reasons. One loves color accuracy. The other thinks it's fine, not professional-grade. Same product. So you go deeper. A YouTube video catches backlight bleed nobody wrote about. Reddit says the USB-C doesn't charge a MacBook. Amazon has 4.2 stars but recent reviews are full of dead pixels. You now have a dozen sources. Each one useful. None agreeing. And you're less sure than when you started. The problem isn't finding reviews. It's cross-referencing them. Does "vivid colors" from one reviewer mean the same as "excellent color reproduction" from another when one is watching movies and the other is editing photos? That mental mapping across every dimension you care about is what quietly eats two hours. I kept doing this. So I wrote a pipeline. Because obviously the correct response to "I can't pick a monitor" is 3 LLM providers and a six-st