I Built an Error Tracker Because Sentry Made Me Feel Poor

I was just a Laravel dev who wanted to know when his app broke. The pricing pages said no. So I built my own error tracker. I was three clicks deep into Sentry's pricing page when I did the maths on what monitoring my side project would actually cost. The side project that makes, on a good month, enough to cover its own hosting. Forty bucks a month to watch for errors on an app that serves maybe two hundred people. I closed the tab. Tried Flare. Nicer for Laravel, sure. Still felt like I was paying enterprise rent on a studio flat. Nightwatch? Same energy. Every single one of these tools is built for a team with a Jira board and a VP of Engineering and a budget that doesn't make someone physically wince. I'm just a bloke with a Laravel app and a DigitalOcean droplet. I only need to know when something breaks. That's it. That's the whole requirement. When a thing goes wrong, tell me about it. Maybe group the errors so I'm not drowning in five hundred copies of the same stack trace. Mayb