I Built an Enterprise SaaS for HTTP 418 — The World's Most Useless Teapot

This is a submission for the DEV April Fools Challenge What I Built TEAPOT.EXE — a fully designed, production-grade enterprise SaaS landing page for a teapot that does exactly one thing: refuse to brew coffee. It returns HTTP 418 I'm a Teapot . That's the whole product. I built a complete startup website — custom 3D Three.js teapot with orbiting rings and steam particles, pricing tiers, fake testimonials, a live HTCPCP/1.0 terminal trace, SOC 2 compliance badges, and a scrolling ticker that reads "COFFEE REQUESTS REFUSED · LARRY MASINTER APPROVED" — for a server whose entire value proposition is that it will never, under any circumstances, produce coffee. The more overengineered and earnest it looked, the funnier it got. So I made it look extremely legitimate. The Lore (IYKYK) On April 1, 1998, a man named Larry Masinter published RFC 2324 to the IETF. It specified the Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol (HTCPCP/1.0) — a fully realized, technically rigorous internet standard for con