I Asked 3 Different AIs to Help Me Code. Here Are Their Performance Reviews. 🚩
We've all heard the pitch: AI is going to take our jobs. AI can build a full-stack app in five minutes. AI is the ultimate pair programmer. So, while building my latest side project, I decided to lean heavily on the free tiers of three popular AI models and let them do the heavy lifting. I expected a team of hyper-efficient robotic junior developers. Instead, I got the most toxic, lazy, and emotionally damaging coworkers I've ever had the misfortune of managing. These are their official performance reviews. 👻 1. Meta AI — "The Ghoster" Assigned Task: Write a basic HTML structure for a web component. Performance Summary: Meta AI is the coworker who clocks out at 4:59 PM, mid-sentence, without warning. I asked for a simple HTML template. It confidently streamed back this masterpiece: <html> <head></head> <body> // rest of code here <body> </html> Let's document the violations: It refused to write the actual code and left a placeholder comment as if I'm its intern. It didn't close the <bo
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